The Healing Power of Tinder

Mr. Texas (aka Tex) stared into my eyes, touched my hair, and whispered “good morning doll” as I opened my eyes in the morning.  Lying next to him, I realized this was one of the few times in which I’ve slept with a date, and not had sex. It was a surreal moment because 24-hours earlier, I was nursing a broken heart having just broken up with Mr. Apple. We (Mr. Apple and I) were about to go on a romantic trip to Koh Samed island but alas, the shit hit the fan the weekend before.

This spontaneous explosion however, had a silver lining as I met Tex 24-hours later.  Though we’ve only just met, the tolerant Tex is infinitely sweeter and kinder than aggravating Mr. Apple.    

If you’re wondering how I was able to rebound so quickly – meet my good friend Tinder.  

Those who diss Tinder have probably never dipped their toes into the world of ‘swipe left or swipe right.’  Tinder has delivered more ‘sure thing’ dates and hook-ups than many of the other traditional ways of hooking up such as “you must meet” a friend of your friend; an ex of a friend; a colleague of mine etc.

As an experienced dater, the Tinder strike rate is way higher than other dating options out there.

As a Tinder evangelist I have converted some of my friends to join the Church of T and swiping right has produced great results for some of them – some have found the love of their life leading to marriage or long-term relationships.

As for me? I’m not ruling out a happy match for me one day – but having said that, I could also die alone with 18 cats or less, who knows?  

Like Bangkok, I have a reputation, some might say bad reputation – among my so-called good girl friends – because of my openness and appetite for sex.  But I think a few are quite jealous of my sex life (well they pretend not to, but I can tell) because I love sharing my sassy stories.

Little do they know that I sometimes embellish them to lead them on to stir their imaginations.

I mean, why would I pick and share a lame sex story over our drinks? They seem to enjoy juiciest ones – the ones that make their imaginations run wild.  While I’m sexually active, I’m not a high performing nympho, I just don’t like to be held back by old-world demure “Asian good girl” values. Asian men don’t have the same expectations forced on them – in fact, many, especially successful men boast of conquests past, current, and future – hypocrisy and double standards fuck you.

But, frankly speaking, not all of my encounters are fireworks and knee trembling moments.  I’m sure many of you can relate to that – in fact, this blog is about relatability and being open and upfront about the good, the bad, and the sometimes ugly of dating and an active life of love.    

I mean it’s not uncommon to hook up with a guy who just can’t perform, or if “his thing” just doesn’t seem to be a good fit for yours.  I’ve also had encounters where the guy is either lame, or lazy, and leaves all the “heavy lifting” to me – yes, there are male starfish out there as well!   

How do I deal with those moments?  I may not have all the answers, but by sharing my stories and some from friends, I hope you will gain a few insights, have some laughs, and a new understanding of dating in the age of Tinder through my lens – a sexually liberated Asian women who can see the world from an Asian and Western perspective.  I also hope you will also get a better understanding of modern dating positives and pitfalls in your pursuit of Mr. or Ms. Right.