Bodies we’ve all got one, and unless you’re Ronaldo or Kyle Jenner, you, like me, probably have parts that you would like to see more and less of.
But I believe beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder – the way it should be. And while we all have an opinion on what a “hot bod” looks like, not everyone wants to hear it. In my experience, men of all shapes, sizes, and ages are more forward – often downright rude – in pointing out the imperfections of women – e.g. butt, boob, and leg sizes, wrinkles, cellulite, etc than we are of their bad bits.
This is TOTAL BULLSHIT – I mean fellas, have you ever taken a good look in the mirror lately? Sorry to break it you, but you weren’t all born with Adonis bodies, Brad Pitt’s bone structure, and Beckham’s hair – pot bellies, man boobs, saggy balls, ear hair, limp dicks, bad breath, clammy hands etc I’ve seen a few, but not too many (thank Buddha).
Asian Sisters Take a Stand
Many Asian girls tend to laugh, or brush off jibes made about their bodies, but it’s time to take a stand against over-judgmental boyfriends, husbands, and part-time lovers. Your boo, bae, or significant other, should embrace you for who you are – the whole landscape. That doesn’t mean he should be subservient or cuck-like, but if he has comments he should offer these in a caring, loving, and supportive way. Based on relationships I’ve had, the guys who offered the most opinions had more than a few shortcomings themselves.
Meet the Diplomat
My former boyfriend, the Diplomat was a smooth-talking charmer, but he couldn’t shut up about my butt – he continually said it was on the heavy side for him. I don’t know he and I remained lovers for months.
To me, his dick wasn’t all that in terms of scale, and functionality, but I liked him because he really cared about me – but the closer we got, his jibes about my bum and other features became harsher.
I used to think it was down to his upbringing, maybe his family were repressed leading to confidence or intimacy issues. In fact, I think put-downs were his way of showing affection but there’s a big difference between teasing and being a prick.
In some ways I shouldn’t have been so upset because in Thai culture, we can be very direct about appearance – it’s not uncommon for example to say to an old friend you haven’t seen for a while, “gosh you’ve got fat,” or “you’ve gone grey – how?” or “you’ve aged.” But I think these are more teasing comments and given with affection.
In the Diplomat’s case, I think his caustic comments were a way to try control the relationship – a way to dent my confidence and increase my insecurities so he remained “boss” if you know what I mean.
Three years earlier
It wasn’t love at first sight when I met the Diplomat three years earlier. At the time, I was dating a married man and the Diplomat – who has integrity (I’ll give him that) – didn’t want to upset that apple cart and I wasn’t looking for extra love action. During our first meeting however, I’d had a few drinks and jokingly grabbed his crotch and was intrigued at his package.
When we met three years later (when I was single) the sexual tension from our initial meet-up ignited. I was with my gay friend who intensely, persistently told me to “test drive” the Diplomat. He kept saying the Diplomat was “good husband” material – and as the drinks flowed, I accepted the challenge.
Oh, and for the record, the Diplomat was far from being my type. He’s not chubby enough (I prefer chubbiness over skinniness), not tall enough, and not white enough.
Expectations exceeded (not)
Disappointed was my verdict from this sexual encounter three years in the making. We were making out – literally one minute on the sofa – before moving to bedroom. Anticipating some intense foreplay and arousal playtime, all I got was 30 to 60 seconds of nipple sucking and some pashing before I felt something stuck inside me from behind that induced pain not pleasure.
I pushed him to stop.
“Hey, did you put the condom on, Oh MY GOSH, I’m not even wet, yet, can we just keep making out first?”
From that moment on, I knew that this was going to be awful, and sadly this was a self-fulfilling prophecy……
That was then, this is now
Very recently, the Diplomat reached out to me in Bangkok. Excited to see him again, he blurted out “Oh wow you are chunky, what happened to you, and look at your thighs and waist, oh my god!”
Talk about a passion killer. He said he just wanted to catch up but as we said goodbye he held me tight and didn’t let go even as my train was arriving. I was like, what are you doing? He smiled and replied don’t worry another train is coming soon – that pissed me off as much as his comments.
The Diplomat has now been “friendzoned.” While we’ve had random chats about dating and people we’ve met, I’m kind of done with guys like the Diplomat who think it’s okay to make personal comments but aren’t exactly free of faults themselves – his attitude and laziness in bed are a turn off now – the only positive is that I think we have both learned a few things from our bumpy relationship.
